You must copy and paste this warning into your Facebook exactly. A man in Wilmerding received this warning and didn’t follow it, and his iPhone got chlamydia. A woman in Bethel Park, meanwhile, followed this warning precisely and today she received in the mail, completely free of charge, a coupon for $2 off any value meal at Arby’s.
Signed in at 11:00 am. Tomorrow starts the new Facebook (aka META) rule where Mark Zuckerberg can sneak into your house and try on your underpants. Yes, even boys underwear!!!! This will bypass the system… He who does nothing consents. You can deactivate this feature by holding your right finger somewhere in this message and pressing “COPY.” Then, while facing magnetic north, lick your left finger, stick it into your right ear, then squat down and fart as loud as you can while yelling, “I DECLARE META BANKRUPTCY!” Then get into your car, drive the Pasadena Freeway to the Hollywood Freeway, take the Hollywood Freeway to the Golden State Freeway, take the Golden State Freeway to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your Slauson, and drive six miles until you see a giant inflatable Elon Musk having a conjugal visit with Bob’s Big Boy, then stay tuned for Joan Van Ark, Dick Van Dyke, Dick Van Patten, Van Johnson, Van Morrison, Morris the Cat and Gertie the Wonder Toad in “The Bowery Boys Meet Linda Lovelace.”