Sting, the lost verses

Every shallow lake, every drain you snake, every sinus headache, I’ll be hearing this song

Reflections on a day spent listening to “Pittsburgh’s classic hits” station:

Every move you make
Every egg you break
Every cake you bake
Every Salisbury steak
I’ll be watching you

Every dumb spit-take
Every Great Salt Lake
Every stomach ache
Every parking brake
I’ll be watching you

Every zit outbreak
Every coral snake
Every slow uptake
Every firebreak
I’ll be watching you

Every muck you rake
Every milk you shake
Every name you sake
Every corn you flake
I’ll be watching you

Every feathery drake
Every small earthquake
Every A.I. fake
Every Colonel Blake
I’ll be watching you

Every bad remake
Every rowboat strake
Every thirst you slake
Every set tiebreak
I’ll be watching you

Fun fact, according to Wikipedia: “Every Breath You Take” generates between a quarter and a third of all of Sting’s music publishing income, and has been recognized as the most-played song in radio history, with more than 15 million radio plays between 1983 and 2019. More than 6 million of those plays were on 3-W-S.

OK, I made the last part up. If 3-W-S played “Every Breath You Take” 6 million times, when would they have time to play “What a Feeling” and “Down Under”?

P.S.: I had a vague recollection that “Bloom County” did a comic strip like this, and here it is. I can’t remember my zip code, but I can remember this:

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