Briefly noted

Cluttered items from an empty mind

Seen elsewhere: “Republicans are making age an issue in the presidential race. They point out that Joe Biden can barely stay incoherent for 15 minutes at a time, while Donald Trump can talk incoherently for hours.”

Seen on Facebook: “Aaron Rodgers made it to four plays. That’s three more than Lincoln.”

Gino Vanelli is coming to the Carnegie Library music hall in Homestead. The commercial says he’s known for such “hits as ‘I Just Wanna Stop.'”

OK, no offense, but now name another one.

(At least in the U.S. He was bigger in Canada.)

Canada, incidentally, is where Tim Scott’s girlfriend lives. He met her at summer camp. You wouldn’t know her.

The only thing I can ever think of, when someone mentions Gino Vanelli, is a memorable “SCTV” bit in which he’s played by Eugene Levy, who keeps getting hairier and hairier as he sings.

If Vanelli can do that trick on stage, I’ll buy a ticket.

Conan O’Brien made a strong point in an interview with Kara Swisher:

“I have people come up to me on the street and say, ‘Hey, Conan, isn’t it tough today? You can’t make a joke about anything. It’s too P.C.’

“And I actually don’t agree with them. I think there’s still plenty of things that are funny. And to me, that’s kind of an excuse to say, ‘Yep, I’m shackled. I can’t be funny anymore.’ Well, if being funny meant just being incredibly insensitive — that’s probably not great.”

I have more to say about this, but I’ve often thought that being “woke” or “politically correct” was what we used to call being “polite” or “considerate.”

Like a lot of people, I packed on a few pounds during the pandemic that I’m having a hard time losing — you’ve heard of the “freshman 15”? This is the “COVID 19.”

But I wasn’t sure if I should be offended when Facebook showed me this ad. What are they trying to tell me?

Thanks, Facebook, I always wanted to know where I could buy an outfit that would make me look like Homer Simpson when he resorts to wearing a muumuu:

Former WTAE-TV anchor Wendy Bell, now working at NewsMax and various AM radio stations, has come out as a 9/11 truther.

“Positively Wendy Bell,” everyone:

Positively whack-a-doodle

After I posted this on Facebook, someone messaged me this: “After seeing your Facebook post I checked out Wendy Bell’s Twitter account. She’s also an Oklahoma City conspiracy theorist now, too.”

Well, sure. That’s generally the next stop on the crazy train.

Just another normal day over at Elon’s House o’ TERFs & Nazi Barn, where you can also read how John Fetterman has been replaced by an impersonator:

How does one get a job as a John Fetterman impersonator? What would I have to do, put on a Carhartt shirt and cargo shorts, go to birthday parties, and tell everyone they deserve affordable health care and a living wage?

I was going to say “shave my head,” but I’m most of the way there already.

It sure is great that the guy who owns the garbage fire app formerly known as Twitter also controls a major satellite Internet network used by the U.S. Defense Department. I foresee no problems there.

And finally: I used the phrase “it went through me like a dose of salts” and my wife had no idea what I was talking about (which isn’t unusual for me).

So I asked followers on Facebook and Mastodon if they’d heard the phrase.

The results are in:

I’m not sure where I picked up the saying, which online dictionaries tell me is primarily British. Maybe from British sitcoms or novels?

It dates from the days when epsom salts were given as a laxative and means, “very quickly.” What this particular bit of useless information will provide for you, I have no idea. I wonder if Tim Scott’s girlfriend has heard the saying?

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