They say “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”
This appears to be most of the Democratic Party right now:
I know the administration seems chaotic. Watching it feels like “been there, done that” to me, and I’m surprised that other people are surprised — especially people in politics, who should have known what was coming.
I have been saying — not really joking — “a lot of you had stable childhoods, and it shows.”
Anyone who had an unstable parent or spouse has seen behavior like Trump’s before, and up close, and not just eight years ago, the last time he darkened the White House’s door.
First Trump acts nuts and does or says something crazy — Colombia tariffs, TikTok ban, threatening to invade Denmark. Then he gives it back, and we’re supposed to act grateful: “Oh, thank you, daddy/mommy, you’re so good to us.”
Like an abusive parent or spouse, he demands slavering obedience and fawning praise, even when he does something wrong (especially when he does something wrong). He causes the problem, and then offers to fix it.
It’s all designed to wear you down and break you. Pretty soon you learn to be watchful and censor yourself so you don’t anger Daddy Trump any more.
Oh, you may tell yourself you’re not stooping to their level, or you’re trying to keep the peace. (Or, if you’re a Democrat, “the voters sent me here to do a job, not to react to all of the noise.”) But it’s all a case of giving into the crazy person, in order to spare yourself some of their wrath.
And what I’ve learned after 40-mumble years of fighting bullies is that lots of people will talk a good game, but they don’t have your back.
After you risk your job (or your life, or your family, or your health) standing up to the bully, then your “allies” will come (privately) and pat you in the back: “Hey, you really fought back, good job.”
More and more, my response to that is, “thank you, but where were you when I needed you? Go f–k yourself.”
You can’t shame the bullies. Sometimes you can shame your allies into action. But you can’t shame the bullies. Pointing out their hypocrisy does no good; they don’t care.
And you can’t “work with” the bullies, either. You can submit and let them do whatever they want, or you can fight.
We may eventually shame some Democrats into action, but right now, it’s like trying to get a cowering, whimpering dog out from under the bed. The Republicans are a completely lost cause.
Ed Burmila, who blogs at Gin and Tacos, and who wrote the book “Chaotic Neutral: How the Democrats Lost Their Soul in the Center,” said this week:
Things are different and there’s nothing to gain now from pretending the politics of 10 or 20 or 50 years ago apply to this moment. (The administration’s) goal is to fundamentally change the way our reality is structured and the opposition party’s plan is to refer to that as “noise” and talk about egg prices. We are not in danger, a word that implies some future calamity. The calamity is here.
The calamity is indeed here. You can hide and let it happen or you can speak up and fight back.
P.S.: Ed was a guest on my talk show when “Chaotic Neutral” came out. You can get the book here and listen to our conversation here: