In case you missed it, my cartoons are back in print … in Print, Pittsburgh’s East End newspaper. Look for “Pen Avenue” on the editorial page in upcoming issues.
If you want to read Print online, you can’t … you’ll need to buy a physical copy at select stores in the East End (including the Giant Eagle in Squirrel Hill) or visit the website.
Speaking of funnies, in case you missed it, Lee Greenwood, singer and songwriter of the execrable “God Bless the U.S.A.,” has just released the “God Bless the U.S.A.” bible.
Greenwood, who had a minor hit in 1984 with the song and has been milking it ever since, even got you-know-who (Donald I, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago, God-Emperor and King of the Douchebags) to officially endorse it:
And they released it during Holy Week. It costs $60. Because nothing says “the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” like sending away sixty bucks for a Bible endorsed by Donald Trump.
Just as there’s a “Simpsons” reference for everything, there is also a “Peanuts” reference for everything. I remember a “Peanuts” comic strip in which Linus is watching an evangelist on television who’s selling a Bible with his picture on the cover.
“Why is his name on the Bible?” Linus asks. “Did he write it?”
I can’t find the comic strip, so you’ll have to take my word for it.
So Donald Trump, who’s never read the Bible (but has, according to multiple sources, read the collected speeches of Adolf Hitler) is flogging them to people who have memorized the Old Testament parts (the verses about subjugating women, keeping slaves, and smiting and stoning people you don’t like) but not so much the New Testament parts (the verses about loving one’s neighbor, forsaking material wealth, and tolerating those different from you).
And it’s all wrapped up in one of the most obnoxious country songs of the 1980s (which if you think about it, is really saying something).
Medical question: Is it physically possible to scream and vomit at the same time?
I hate to quote Woody Allen, but there’s line from “Hannah and Her Sisters” that seems appropriate: “If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in His name, He’d never stop throwing up.”